Art work by Funniest Animal Videos
I was reading an article that said when in the mood a cat can count up to 7. My immediate thought was that that made a mockery of the 9 lives theory, given that cats must be in no man’s land after 7 disastrous accidents. I wondered how the writer got to know that cats can count up to 7, so I wrote this.
The old lady with the broomstick she took everywhere never really wanted to live on Planet Earth but she didn’t have much choice but to stay put. She wasn’t a witch or anything like that. She just liked her broomstick and didn’t care for Planet Earth that much. She always said she found having a broomstick therapeutic. Her Earth problems were all about allergies. Hay fever, dust allergies and atopic dermatitis were her adversaries. She didn’t quite know what atopic dermatitis was. It was what her doctor called it and he knew more words than she did. What she did know was that it made her itch most times, although for reasons unknown she never itched when carrying her broomstick. Mostly she slept with the broomstick. When she went down town to do a bit of shopping on rainy days she had to leave it at home because she couldn’t hold an umbrella and the stick at the same time without falling over.
Luckily she never had animal type allergies. That’s why she kept two cats and always kept the bird feeding station down the bottom of the garden full of seed.
As she’d grown older then older some more she found life was getting boring. Her husband had died years before and she lived alone, apart for the cats. Morpheus and Zeus were the names she gave them. Because she couldn’t always remember Morpheus’ name she mainly called him Dreamer. He slept a lot.
It was because of her cats that her world got better then better still. It was on a hot summer’s day that she decided she would feed her cats outside. Her back garden was massive but because of her allergies she’d had it concreted over. To make the garden look better she’d planted masses of plastic flowers in tubs all over the place. It confused the bees but no harm was done.
Somehow, given that she was carrying her broomstick with her, she took with her a bowl each of gourmet cat food chicken cubes in sauce for both Dreamer and Zeus. The thing was that one bowl had five cubes, the other had seven. Zeus got the short end of the stick. He didn’t look that happy. She noticed that Zeus had nodded his head five times before popping over to Dreamer, where he nodded seven times. When he’d finished nodding he looked up at the old lady and shook his head in disappointment. It was a that point she’d discovered that cats can count.
Ever since that day she never got bored again. Once she’d taught her cats to play counting games she never looked back. The cats were pretty happy themselves. They had known for some time that dogs can’t count, even though wolves could.
Every day, sometimes all day, you’d find her playing Snakes and Ladders and Ludo with the cats.
Some music. My song ‘Tick-Tock’ from my ‘The Pigeons Are Switzerland’ album. You can download this BANDCAMP I hope you enjoy.
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