MAKING DRACULA REDUNDANT

18 comments

sandwich

‘Bono’s Worse Nightmare’


I’ve been watching the new take on Dracula on the TV. I’m two episodes in. It’s not brilliant but I score it OK. The thing is the writers have missed a trick. To be certain to save yourself from Dracula you have to remember to carry a crucifix around with you at all times. Dracula can’t cope with people holding a cross in his face. It renders him useless. A load of nuns in one scene all get killed by Dracula because they forgot to carry the crucial crosses with them.


Then I had this random thought. Why not wear a T-shirt with a cross printed on it? Better still, if you are living in Transylvania just get yourself a crucifix tattoo on your forehead. Sorted – no need to remember anything, and the plus is Dracula becomes just a bloke with dodgy teeth, out of work and down the Job Centre hoping for a gig that has a night-shift.


On top of that, if Bram Stoker who wrote the original Dracula book had thought it through he’d never have had to bother writing the book in the first place.


Victory – what is victory
When you win a battle and then the war?
Victory – what is victory
When you’re unlocking an unlocked door?


Pointless – call it futile
The way you boast how well you lied
Pointless – call it laughable
That you thought yourself the perfect bride


Love and hate – now out of hiding
Love and hate – smack in my face
I count losers in the graveyard
You count winners lost without a trace


I saw it – I saw it coming
But never spoke out of turn
Watched you fan the flames of yesterday
And watched the future burn


Listen – can you hear me?
Or are you bathing in champagne
Hold your breath and believe me
When I say you won the game


Probable; possible verse/chorus – it bounces like an old English folk song:
No reason to share a truth or live a lie
Since we walked in the cemetery where all dreams, they die


My sleepless night words have a lot of opposite takes on life and something else I’m not sure of, a bit like my song ‘Shadow on the Wall’ from the Devil’s Kiss album. Here it is. I hope you enjoy;


If any poets out there are interested in having your poems turned into songs then click here to check it out: POETRY TO SONG


If you are looking for the above or all my other music then you’ll find it to download on BANDCAMP  or you can stream and/or make a playlist of it on SPOTIFY


Copyright © 2019 Zoolon Audio.  Music & Artwork. All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

18 comments on “MAKING DRACULA REDUNDANT”

  1. I think you should make them and make a packet. you could do night apparel too. I gave Dracula a miss. It looked in the same vein–oops – as some of the offerings-oops- lately, War of the Worlds, Christmas Carol and I do love a diff take .not stake- on things but after the uninspiring trailer and one look at the twat playing the lead, I had just had enuff. So? Glad to hear I ain’t missing anything. I mean I loved the book.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The only thing that saves this show is Dolly Wells as Sister Agatha Van Helsing and the closing scene at episode two. It’s no way as bad as War of the World, but without Dolly it’s pretty much a nothing. I think it would be better if they called it ‘Agatha’s Shop for T-Shirts & Tattoos’ – Budapest branch ~ George

      Liked by 1 person

    1. True enough, but Dracula could have the night shift. A day job would be no good for him. The shop/office/warehouse or whatever he was working in simply has to have crucifix wallpaper, plus windows and doors engraved crucifixes dotted all over, plus crucifix floor tiles, so he couldn’t get out – even if he did so long as locals got their tattoos sorted all would be good. Also, would the employer want to be seen as a Vampirest? Thinking about it this is insane. Thanks for the comment. I appreciate it a lot ~ George

      Liked by 1 person

      1. A church? That’s a great idea, but it does have one flaw. Say a whole congregation of Christians are on their knees praying it could all go wrong. The single cross on the forehead would mean nothing then. Even so there’s a marketing opportunity for the tattooists there. Multi-neck tattoos. A ‘3 for 2’ offer? The same applies to situations like on a bus or at the cinema where often there is someone sat in front of Dracula. I can’t imagine him ever going for the front seat anywhere. Then there’s the overwhelming desire for brides of Dracula that he has. Another winner for the tattooists. Instead of all over body tans, they could go with ‘all over body tattoos at half price’. Then there’s the Buddhists and other religions, even atheists to consider. I don’t think there are that many of those in Transylvania but their best hope is to ‘bite the bullet’ or die.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This post was fun to read. I’ve always had the same thoughts about the cross bit an Dracula. Just make a cross with your arms! Nuns without crucifixes? Never heard of such a thing. That’s taking creative licence to the absurd.
    Love the song. Listening to the second one now. Sweet voices.
    Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If I was Dracula knowing all the time that Christians would be on my case I’d turn my castle into a hotel for atheists or maybe just move to Bangladesh or somewhere like that where crosses are a big no, no. Thanks for listening to the music. That duo you were listening to ‘Devil’s Kiss’ has somehow made it to a well-known song contest in Nashville. The good bit is that the organizers came after me to submit the number. Thanks again ~ George

      Like

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