‘HEEBIE JEEBIE & MISS MONEY SPIDER’

37 comments

scarecrow


‘Scarecrow’ – Artist Unknown


‘Children’s Story?’

Even though writing, to me, is nearly always about composing lyrics, someone bet me that I couldn’t write a children’s story. Odd. All credit to writers. It’s not easy without a melody to hide behind. Whether this counts as one, I’m not sure. Anyway, I gave it a go. Here it is;


The scarecrow could neither dream, hear, walk, talk, dress himself, play guitar nor enjoy poached eggs, ice-cream, Cornish pasties or hot chocolate. He found it amazing that he could, on a good day, scare certain timid birds and most small children. The small children especially found they suffered from horrible nightmares after bumping into him in his field of corn. He regretted that but couldn’t do much about it.

The farmer had christened him Sir Heebie Jeebie, although no one called him by his name. He hated his name, hence he was pleased that most passers-by just called him ‘That stupid scarecrow’ – at least he thought that’s what they said – except the birds. Birds can’t speak, you see. He could age though. Not so much in years like regular humans do, more that over time he wilted a bit, then a bit more, until he passed away, his skeleton a crucifix of wooden sticks.

Like the rest of his clan, death mainly occurred as a rainy autumn turned into winter’s first storms. There’s not much call for a scarecrow once seeds have grown into green vegetables for small children to devour.

He’d always considered the farmer to be his father but had no idea who his mum might be. Heebie had come to the conclusion that his was a one-parent family.

What he didn’t know was that unlike all the other scarecrows in all the other fields in all the other countries of the world, he, ‘Sir Heebie Jeebie’ had an internal framework made, not of boring stereotypical wooden sticks, but one of plastic rods. As such, and providing his clothes didn’t rot away – clothes being very important for scarecrows for without them they wouldn’t be able to scare certain timid birds and most small children.

Summer was dying, the winds from the Arctic were trying their luck out due south of the ice cap. Heebie’s clothes had started to rot away, and his face was looking less scary by the day. The Grim Scarecrow Reaper would soon be on his case.

It was September 9th. when Miss Money Spider stumbled upon him. In truth, not so much stumbled, more that she bumped into him and knocked him over while on her Trials bike practicing for a tournament. After she had said, ‘Oh dear, oh deary me’ half a dozen times she got overwhelmed with guilt.  She did say ‘sorry’ but a ‘sorry’ wasn’t any good as Heebie had no prospect of hearing her apology.

The thing was, the bike had ripped off all of his clothes. He was now nothing more than a crucifix of plastic rods.

Luckily for Heebie, Miss Money Spider took him home with her, dressed him up in a massive faux fur coat stuffed with straw, replacing his old head with a plastic football with a smiley face painted on and planted him in her front garden forevermore. Heebie had never been so happy. Although the birds, understandably mainly ignored him, the small children loved him. He was good with that and came to the conclusion that maybe plastic could be put to a good use rather than be dumped in the oceans killing all the fish and that Miss Money Spider was his mum.  So what, another one-parent family. He didn’t care.


I haven’t got a Scarecrow Song in my portfolio of songs, although in my song ‘Ballerina Dancing’ I did mention one in the verse;

‘All I know is all I know, And all I know is real, Like a scarecrow on the gallows, It is no big deal’ – but that song doesn’t really fit this. So, leaving the subject matter behind, here’s an example from my new three hours album of Guitar Jams available on BANDCAMP called ‘Volume I Guitar Jam Backing Tracks’ tagged ‘Creativity On Tap’. This track is called ‘Gritty Groove – A Minor’. A backing track is a pillar upon which a song rests. Like any good pillar it should stand alone. I hope you enjoy;

If you like it, maybe you wouldn’t mind hitting the SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE    Adding numbers subscribing to the Channel really help my cause.


Copyright © 2019 words Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

37 comments on “‘HEEBIE JEEBIE & MISS MONEY SPIDER’”

    1. I’d not thought of that. You’re bang on right. I’m thinking my backing tracks are versatile outside of just song composition. Having lost my £5 bet on the children’s story, that’s put me in a better mood. Thanks ~ George

      Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a great idea, Chris. Right now I am totally committed to the new ‘backing track’ aspect of the business. I reckon storytelling would be more fun but I don’t thinks it pays well. That’s a nuisance I could do without but business is business, sadly. Thank’s for the read ~ George

      Liked by 1 person

  1. A superb Autumn romp with Mr. H.J. ScareCrow through crisp rows of Summer’s dry remains. I quite appreciate these skeletal images:

    “not of boring stereotypical wooden sticks, but one of plastic rods”
    “a plastic football with a smiley face painted on and planted him in her front garden forevermore.”

    Your story recalled my childhood in a 1950s pre-plastic world that my generation would proceed to ravage with a plastic bloom — forevermore?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Bill. This all started when the old man returned from France and we got into a row about politics – even thought we are both on the same side. It was something to do with ‘who hated Boris’ the most. To restore a bit of peace we got onto lyrics v storytelling. He challenged me to write a kids story. The bet being that I’d pay £5 if I messed up. An hour or so ago he took my £5. Multiple swear words, obviously. That’s the history of this scarecrow tale. You’ve left me thinking about a ‘pre-plastic world’. It made me think of ‘Plastic – The Musical’. A bit like Wizard of Oz with Trump the villain. I think that would work but sadly I don’t do musicals – I might regret saying that for evermore. Thanks again ~ George.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. “An hour or so ago he took my £5”
        Your father loses the bet…and takes the proverbial cake as well? There is something very Johnsonian, and it’s not *Dr.* Johnsonian about that, it reminds me of Alexander Johnson’s cake-eating policy. 🙂

        Boris has not changed since age 15. As for Donald:

        “When I look at myself in the first grade and I look at myself now, I’m basically the same. The temperament is not that different.”

        — Donald Trump, quoted by the New Yorker.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. In fairness to the old boy he looked after me well when starting out in my own business and had I not insisted he wouldn’t have taken the fiver. Is Boris the thinking man’s Donald or is Donald just one of a kind? What a dangerous animal it would be if they merged as one. ‘End Times’ comes to mind. That animal would certainly test high tech lie detectors to the extreme ~ George

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You are a writer and even weirder…. writer-singer.
    So my guess is that you can compose lyrics for children, it probably won´t give you much money but you can consider yourself a humanitarian.
    Take care Zoolon, and when you get famous don´t forget this crazy Priest.

    Liked by 1 person

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