‘For Free’ by Zoolon
The brainwasher wearing the grey suit that sparkled said he drove an Audi Quattro. He asked what I drove. I lied and said a skateboard. He asked why I didn’t wear, “A smart suit like mine”. I couldn’t be bothered to answer. Also, he looked like someone who might end up on a #metoo rap. Maybe that was a bit harsh, maybe not. Later he mentioned that when he sees a door, he sees an ‘entrance’. When he spoke he acted as if he knew something no one else knew.
“What do you see when you see a door, George?”
I was going to say, ‘A door’ but said, “An exit” instead. He told me that was a negative reply. Probably was.
Outside his office, a giant office full of ethically sourced takeaway coffee cups and stressed people looking like they wanted to end it all, I noticed a fire exit door. I thought I’d like to have seen the brainwasher in the grey suit that sparkled try that door out as an entrance. Maybe my answer wasn’t so negative after all.
Out in the street just up from the office in front of a private house a white van pulled up at the same time a lady in a grey tracksuit that didn’t sparkle came out to greet the driver. A fat bloke in trainers. She apologized for collaring me before asking if I could give the van driver a hand carrying the door he was delivering upstairs. Said it was too heavy for him to carry and that she wasn’t strong enough to help. She hadn’t brushed her hair and only had one slipper on. Odd. The toenails on the foot without a slipper were, I think, painted lime green. I’m not good with colours. Anyway, I said OK, thinking all the time that this must be ‘The Day of the Door’.
The door wasn’t that heavy. Neat house inside. Now in her smart kitchen both her black cats left via the cat flap ‘exit’, reinforcing the positivity of my ‘exit’ theory of doors.
I noticed she’d brushed her hair and found her other slipper when she thanked me for helping out, offering me a smile, a fiver and a slice of wedding cake (?). I would have settled for the smile but she insisted I take the fiver. I took the fiver, not the wedding cake.
She told me her name was Mandy, after Barry Manilow. I said nothing but thought if she’s been named after Barry Manilow then logically her name should have been Barry. I suppose I could have said my name is George, after Lana Del Ray but though better of it.
I wonder what Mandy sees when she sees a door. I never asked, maybe I should have. I guess todays song should have been dedicated to Mandy, but it’s not. This one is for Mr Brainwasher, it’s called ‘Delusional Troll’. I hope you enjoy;
There’s a new album close to completion. It’ll be out there very soon. Below, my current albums available on Bandcamp;
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