MENTOS & EXHALATION GIRL

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‘Where it Begins’ by Zoolon

A true story from yesterday. I was in the queue at the Post Office down town when the lady in front of me turned around to ask me if I had the time. It’s one of those loaded questions that can catch you out, so I played it safe and told her it was 3.24pm. She seemed good with that answer.

The problem was that she had bad breathe way beyond any bad breathe I’d ever smelt before. It was that bad I reckon she could strip paint. Really sickening bad breathe that made me urge – ‘urge’ being a word used a lot in Devon where I grew up. So uniquely horrible was her breathe that I figured she can’t be a regular human. Maybe an alien, or – a big ‘or’ I’ll admit – a superhero who’s special power was inflicting death by halitosis on enemies of the Universe. That was it, she’s a super hero called ‘Exhalation Girl’. Then it hit me. In my pocket I had some Mentos that might just help her cut back on the anti-social mouth pong. The random thought arrived that I should politely offer her one of my Mentos. Almost straight away, that random thought was overtaken by another. Was Mentos her equivalent of Kryptonite? Death of a superhero by mint? I never did find out. I bottled on the polite bit. There’s no polite way of telling a superhero her breathe chucks up. I’d hate to be Exhalation Girl’s dentist.

Anyway, words from a while back, still in verse form at the moment, now revisited for a new song I’m working on;

WHAT REMAINS

A song buzzing in my head

A melancholy ring

I know you’ll never listen out

For this pawn who would be king

 

I sense you couldn’t care less

But I’ll say it all the same

I’ll tell you what I’m thinking

‘Don’t hate the player; hate the game’

 

Yesterday, tomorrow

Lost and born again

Yesterday, tomorrow

Another tired refrain

 

I’ve seen the cat that got the cream

And the dogs who hunt in packs

Looks like you’ve got a Royal Flush

And me a pair of Jack’s

 

I don’t believe in miracles

I don’t believe in luck

Will stage fright grab a hold on me

Leaving me dumbstruck?

 

Yesterday, tomorrow

Things don’t look the same

Yesterday, tomorrow

There’s nothing to explain

 

I surrendered to a sleepless night

Waited for the dawn

A blackbird sung his first-light song

Told me you were gone

 

In the corridors of learning

I trod ancient cobblestones

My hiding place a shadow

You always knew I hunt alone

 

Yesterday, tomorrow

I count losses, you count gains

Today is not a great place

Today’s just what remains 

Next an experimental sound manipulation I composed called ‘World of Shadows’ as a gentle (ish) conclusion to my ‘Liquid Truth’ album. I hope you enjoy;

I had always thought I had a seriously long name, but the master of ambient music beats me by miles. His name? Brian Peter George St John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno, RDI.  You’re only going to do well in life or fail badly with a name like that – no in-betweens. It’s good he prefers to be known as just ‘Eno’ – a least he gave dyslexics like me a break.

A short, but excellent number from Eno called ‘By This River’.

Apart Eno’s song – Copyright © 2017 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorized copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

 

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45 thoughts on “MENTOS & EXHALATION GIRL

  1. I love the lyrics. Sad thing about the girl and the bad breathe. I always have gum and/or breathe mints in my pocket to avoid that and/or offer to strangers who start a conversation with me (and they invade me personal space with their oral odor).

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    1. Thanks. There’s nothing quite like bad breathe in your face when you’re stuck in queue. On the one hand you don’t want to upset the culprit on the other you feel you ought to tell them.

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  2. I love this post George! The photo, your music, Eno’s music, the previously unknown factoid about his outrageously long name haha, and your halitosis horror story. hahaha Oh dear…
    And, your intriguing lyrics!!

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    1. Thanks. Eno is certainly the master of ambient art. A shame about his name – it’s twice the length of mine. I hated it at school when they had me writing my name on stuff.

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      1. Is it?
        My parents were teachers, they didn’t give us middle names. Nice and short 🙂
        On my blog I go by Vanessa Flower. Flower is actually the middle name given to me by one of our nieces when she was only 4. She was so sad I didn’t have one! She told me it must be Flower. One of the sweetest moments of my life 🙂

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      2. Cool kid. Flower is good. Imagine me ‘George Alexander Blamey-Steeden’ – I can promise that that’s quite a handle for a dyslexic kid like me to have to write on all my books at school. I got it wrong so many times.

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      3. I was going to ask you what your full name was.
        My twin brother’s name is Alexander so I rather like your name 😁it’s just too bad your teachers could not have been more flexible about the order! 😝

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    1. Thanks. You must have found the one person who could read in Devon. They speak funny. I’ve tried to lose it, It I ‘ting ‘tas ‘taint gang way yet’.

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    1. Thanks. I’m from Dartmouth originally. I miss it sometimes, especially the throwaway lines. I always liked it when they referred to my mother as, ‘The maid Blamey, that was’. A smelly breath super villain at my local post office? Nice one. I like it.

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    1. Thanks, Eno started out with Roxy Music then became the artist all students of sound art turned to for inspiration. His work is worth a listen.

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  3. JGC, ‘Where it Begins’ is a fantastic photo, I can feel the motion of the water. By the sounds of it the post office is a place that should be avoided. Love the lyric, ‘WHAT REMAINS’, it really resonates with me this morning, especially, ‘I count losses, you count gains’. An absolute favorite, ‘World of Shadows’, it captures the past, the present and the future, its bigness of sound is all surrounding! Thank you for Brian Eno this morning. Wishing you enjoyable Friday! ~ PM

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    1. PM, Thanks for all your words. You’ve just reminded me that I emailed to myself some photos I took this morning that aren’t on my email!!! One of them was a back view of two really old people in deck chairs on the harbour beach and no one else around. I think I’m going to like it if I can get it out of the phone. I’d have forgotten that had you not mentioned ‘Where in Begins’. Thank you. The ‘Where in Begins’ photo was taken at the end of Deal Pier a couple of weeks back. The sea looked like something new was happening to it but I couldn’t be sure of what. Have a great Friday ~ JGC

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      1. JGC, you’re most welcome. I hope you’re able to retrieve the photos, the one you’ve described sounds terrific. There’s something very special about your photo, ‘Where it Begins’. I think it has something to do with the horizon being slightly slanted, it really gives the feeling of movement in regard to the water, it looks like it’s rolling in, especially against the stationary pier. ~ PM

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      2. PM, I took the ‘Don’t Shoot’ photo from the blog a week or so back on the same pier. The shadow in the pic was a Bulgarian fisherman. Odd. Hope the sun is shining ~ JGC

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      3. JGC, I’ve just had another look at the ‘Don’t Shoot’ photo. You’ve captured the essence of a Bulgarian fisherman in shadow, quite ethereal. Brilliant!

        The sun has been shining and the temperature has been creeping up, it’s been hot today! I hope the sun has been arriving on a daily basis in your world. ~ PM

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      4. Thanks, PM. The Bulgarians mate was stood opposite him and his shadow had a fishing rod in hand. It wasn’t doing it for me. The sun is out over here! JGC

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    1. Thank you. I’m hoping it works as it has a place in my history. I’ve have a lot of songs on the go for a new album – even some metal. I’d hoped for ‘now’, but later is looking better for the release, maybe even September as nothing sells musically until the holiday season is over. The lyric does sing easy though.

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  4. Okay, taking things backward, I love the World of Shadows… I love the “rain” sound fade in and out. So cool. Next up, I ADORE the lyrics! Love how you tie card suits into it. Very clever! I can’t wait to hear it out to music! Finally, I worked with someone once who had such breath…. It was literally so bad, that when he stood across the room, I could actually TASTE his breath! *GAG!* I think in a case like yours, the best thing to do would have been to hold a Mentos in your teeth, slap her on the back so she turned around and gasped, then while her mouth was open, you should shoot the Mentos into her mouth like a pea shooter! Cheers! ❤

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    1. You got me thinking, Rachel. What if she reported me to the police for slapping her on the back? What about me keeping a clothes peg in my pocket, then putting it on my nose to send her a subliminal message – I guess I’d still have to attract her attention though. I’m not sure a coughing fit would work. The other thing is that nearly every customer using the post office has body odour issues anyway. There has to be a better way.

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  5. Amazing: powers of observation and ability to outrun convention – and, thankfully a censor (on which shoulder?) to quell the kind impulse without first checking for a rabies vaccination tag. The song both illuminates and surpasses the story. Ain’t art grand when it merely shows us ourselves sans surface? Thanks. Now, I do have to go troll my trot-lines to see what bit.

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    1. Thanks. You know days on from the event the pong from that woman’s breath is still there in my memory. I’m surprised the military haven’t conscripted her as a weapon of mass destruction.

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