(Me at home with the Lilliputians)
This is true. Not so long ago after uni I worked for a while in a café. I’m not made for the catering trade. I glaze over too easily. One morning the owner asked me to go into town and buy an iceberg. At the time I remember thinking she had set me a task like no task ever asked of a human being before. ‘Buy an iceberg’ – that is a big, big request of someone living in South East England, an area not universally known for its icebergs, plus if I did get hold of an iceberg how – what with me not having superhuman powers – would I transport it. Icebergs weigh a ton. Also, where do you go to buy an iceberg? It’s at times like this that the words of those motivational guru type smiley people who say, ‘There’s no such thing as a problem in life, there are only challenges’ mean nothing. I didn’t want to ask the café owner what shop I should go to in case she thought I was thicker than she already thought I was, so off I went. A few hundred meters away I remembered that there’s a store that sells frozen food. It’s called ‘Iceland’. That had to be the first place to ask. Its name sounded hopeful.
Iceland is a really big store and I didn’t spot anything remotely like an iceberg, so I asked a girl who worked there – hoping against hope she didn’t think me someone who’d been let out for the day – if they sold icebergs. When she stopped laughing – her head off – she handed me a lettuce. That was the day I learnt something new.
ONE PIECE OF FRUIT
Let me sing you the song of inequality
Let me turn back the clock to the start
Let my song be about a denial of rights
Get my drift? It may just break a heart
I’ve got the answer
Do you know the question?
That’s why you don’t ask
You’ve lifted the apple
You’re still holding the serpent
You’re on camera; they’ll take you to task
In the garden you feed in
They called you the heathen
They tricked you in every which way
When you made up your mind
To move out of the city
Long-beard said, ‘do that and I’ll hunt you like prey’
So, you took the blame
And the witches are burning
You’re the earth-mother who they’ll never set free
So, you took the blame
For the tempting a weak man
It’s all your own fault, you must see?
They say you’re the temptress
That makes you a demon
To the men who are wise to your guilt
You got the wrong vibe
And the Court finds against you
Just for offering him the one piece of fruit
Sigh of contempt for sexist morons. Time for some music. An instrumental number I wrote called, ‘ART’ Of Breaking Up. I hope you enjoy.
Next, Alice Phoebe Lou and her song ‘Fiery Heart, Fiery Mind’. She’s a South African living in Germany. She’s also very good.
Apart from Alice Phoebe Lou – Copyright © 2018 Zoolon Audio. All rights reserved. Unauthorized copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.