ONE PIECE OF FRUIT & AN ICEBERG
(Me at home with the Lilliputians)
This is true. Not so long ago after uni I worked for a while in a café. I’m not made for the catering trade. I glaze over too easily. One morning the owner asked me to go into town and buy an iceberg. At the time I remember thinking she had set me a task like no task ever asked of a human being before. ‘Buy an iceberg’ – that is a big, big request of someone living in South East England, an area not universally known for its icebergs, plus if I did get hold of an iceberg how – what with me not having superhuman powers – would I transport it. Icebergs weigh a ton. Also, where do you go to buy an iceberg? It’s at times like this that the words of those motivational guru type smiley people who say, ‘There’s no such thing as a problem in life, there are only challenges’ mean nothing. I didn’t want to ask the café owner what shop I should go to in case she thought I was thicker than she already thought I was, so off I went. A few hundred meters away I remembered that there’s a store that sells frozen food. It’s called ‘Iceland’. That had to be the first place to ask. Its name sounded hopeful.
Iceland is a really big store and I didn’t spot anything remotely like an iceberg, so I asked a girl who worked there – hoping against hope she didn’t think me someone who’d been let out for the day – if they sold icebergs. When she stopped laughing – her head off – she handed me a lettuce. That was the day I learnt something new.
ONE PIECE OF FRUIT
Let me sing you the song of inequality
Let me turn back the clock to the start
Let my song be about a denial of rights
Get my drift? It may just break a heart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ve got the answer
Do you know the question?
Thought not
That’s why you don’t ask
You’ve lifted the apple
You’re still holding the serpent
You’re on camera; they’ll take you to task
In the garden you feed in
They called you the heathen
They tricked you in every which way
When you made up your mind
To move out of the city
Long-beard said, ‘do that and I’ll hunt you like prey’
So, you took the blame
And the witches are burning
You’re the earth-mother who they’ll never set free
So, you took the blame
For the tempting a weak man
It’s all your own fault, you must see?
They say you’re the temptress
That makes you a demon
To the men who are wise to your guilt
You got the wrong vibe
And the Court finds against you
Just for offering him the one piece of fruit
Sigh of contempt for sexist morons. Time for some music. An instrumental number I wrote called, ‘ART’ Of Breaking Up. I hope you enjoy.
Next, Alice Phoebe Lou and her song ‘Fiery Heart, Fiery Mind’. She’s a South African living in Germany. She’s also very good.
Apart from Alice Phoebe Lou – Copyright © 2018 Zoolon Audio. All rights reserved. Unauthorized copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.
Fancy what might have happened if you were asked to shop and bring back a skirting ladder Zoolon?
Hahahahahahaha
– Esme Cloud in fits
Thank you for reading and I’m glad I made you laugh.
I enjoyed the music too!
– Esme Cloud forgetting to add things as usual
Tell you what Chris. I’d fall for that as well – if the truth be told I did when reading your comment.
Heyyy you learn something new everyday! 😉
Thank you. I’m OK at the learning, it’s the remembering what I learnt that does me.
Besides, she was a bit vague. Must’ve been a really hot day then! 😉
Finding an iceberg on a really hot day. Now that would be a real challenge.
Lord Zoo, well done you. I loved this. You know me when it comes to surreal and wordplay x
I missed this one. Sorry and thank you.
Lettuce is used by midwives to sleep after night shifts!
Sorry somehow I missed this one. Do they make a drink out of it?
No, just a lot of lettuce in a sandwich before bed!
I’m still seeking the mythical
left handed screwdriver, along with
a dozen sky hooks, my first boss
sent me out to purchase.
Good to wind back the clock.
To smash it apart even, to find out
how the clockwork works.
Thanks. What you wrote here could be a metaphor from the lines of a song, ‘Let Me Paint You a Picture’ – the bit of the lyric that hit me was, ‘It’s bad timing and me
We find a lot of things out this way
And there’s you
A little black cloud in a dress
The temptation
To take the precious things we have apart
To see how they work
Must be resisted for they never fit together again’. They did try to send me out for some falopian tubes but I got that one – just!
JGC, the first thought that comes to mind when I read, “Iceland” is a Stephen King attraction at the carnival located next to the fun house. Luckily, “she” pointed you in the right direction and you were able to scratch that impossible task off your list. “ONE PIECE OF FRUIT”, is a terrific lyric, image getting a bad rap sheet for that. The ‘ART’ of Breaking Up is lovely, as is Alice Phoebe Lou’s voice. Wishing you a wonderful day. ~ PM
Thanks PM. I have a new cause to fight for along with the environment, animals and stupid leaders. I rate Alice a lot, but can’t help thinking she’d be better still with better material. I like the idea of a carnival next to a fun house. It made me think of my Granddad who spent the whole of WW2 in a polar opposite place. I pleased it made me think that way. Thanks, truly. Sometimes dark thoughts need thinking. JGC
You’re welcome, JGC. Thank you for a wonderful reply, I’m pleased to read you had the opportunity to think about your Granddad. As for Alice, who knows maybe she’ll stumble across some better material. ~ PM
I do like your iceberg story – almost literally your salad days.
Thank you, Jay. I am an idiot sometimes. I know lots about what I know but nothing else.
I love this take on Eve. Good iceberg story. 🙂
Thanks. The iceberg story is one I probably should have kept quiet about – I couldn’t resist it though.
Haha, that’s quite and escapade for and Iceberg George, too funny! Love the poem, the new links, and the video.
Thanks. Up until then I always thought a lettuce was a lettuce. I guess it’s good they give them names.
Oh god yeah, there’s lots of different types of lettuces…pdfing a list. 🙂
HA! Oh I’ve been in such a situation. A recipe called for scallions, and I went to three different grocery stores–with kids, mind–to find them. No scallions. Finally, all disheveled and pissed, ask a person where the scallions are. She hands me green onions. THEN CALL THEM GREEN ONIONS, YOU DAMN COOK BOOK!
So yeah, learned something new that day, too.
I need to remember to scour your instrumentals again…you’ve got seeds of story inspiration tucked away in there…
I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word ‘scallions’ before. Having said that – and accepting I’m colour blind – ‘green’ onions? If I’d been sent out to buy some of those I would’t have a hope of coming back with the right onions.
Me, too, until necessity demanded it! Green onions look more like an herb–really long green leaves attached to teeny little white bulbs. They’re handy for chili and other soup–they add a little bite/heat to the mix. 🙂
Hahaha – still laughing about the lettuce!
Bought your music. Just have to say it’s a bit magical and I can’t even tell you why.
I just know I need to keep listening…
Thank you so much, Maggie L. I just woke up in a fog, looking out the window at a fog and you’ve just brightened up my day. This calls for Vegemite on toast. Seriously, I really appreciate that.
Ohhh my god! Vegemite? Where do you live that you know about that! Best kept secret and I’m starving! I think I’ll join you for a virtual breakfast 😊
Born in Kent (south of the Medway and that makes me ‘A Man of Kent’ instead of a ‘Kentish Man’ – boring but true) and brought up in Dartmouth, Devon, now living in Dover, Kent – because it’s close to France. No France; no creativity. A mushroom omelette on top of Vegemite on toast works for me. I still haven’t blinked by the way.
Haha blink freely, my fascination with blinking has long been satiated. I am, however, intrigued by the idea of flip top heads 😉
I’m guessing that if perfected, the flip top head would be a major plus for brain transplants – or, more worrying, brain thefts. I need to think this through.
Ha! That brings a whole new meaning to intellectual property rights 😁
Seagulls. I was just walking the beach when the thought hit me that if you’d flipped it open when seagulls were flying above then it could be awkward.
Hmmm. Good point. Back to the drawing board. 🤔