(Me at home with the Lilliputians)

This is true. Not so long ago after uni I worked for a while in a café. I’m not made for the catering trade. I glaze over too easily. One morning the owner asked me to go into town and buy an iceberg. At the time I remember thinking she had set me a task like no task ever asked of a human being before. ‘Buy an iceberg’ – that is a big, big request of someone living in South East England, an area not universally known for its icebergs, plus if I did get hold of an iceberg how – what with me not having superhuman powers – would I transport it. Icebergs weigh a ton.  Also, where do you go to buy an iceberg? It’s at times like this that the words of those motivational guru type smiley people who say, ‘There’s no such thing as a problem in life, there are only challenges’ mean nothing. I didn’t want to ask the café owner what shop I should go to in case she thought I was thicker than she already thought I was, so off I went. A few hundred meters away I remembered that there’s a store that sells frozen food. It’s called ‘Iceland’. That had to be the first place to ask. Its name sounded hopeful.

Iceland is a really big store and I didn’t spot anything remotely like an iceberg, so I asked a girl who worked there – hoping against hope she didn’t think me someone who’d been let out for the day – if they sold icebergs. When she stopped laughing – her head off – she handed me a lettuce. That was the day I learnt something new.

ONE PIECE OF FRUIT

Let me sing you the song of inequality

Let me turn back the clock to the start

Let my song be about a denial of rights

Get my drift? It may just break a heart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ve got the answer

Do you know the question?

Thought not

That’s why you don’t ask

 

You’ve lifted the apple

You’re still holding the serpent

You’re on camera; they’ll take you to task

 

In the garden you feed in

They called you the heathen

They tricked you in every which way

When you made up your mind

To move out of the city

Long-beard said, ‘do that and I’ll hunt you like prey’

 

So, you took the blame

And the witches are burning

You’re the earth-mother who they’ll never set free

So, you took the blame

For the tempting a weak man

It’s all your own fault, you must see?

 

They say you’re the temptress

That makes you a demon

To the men who are wise to your guilt

You got the wrong vibe

And the Court finds against you

Just for offering him the one piece of fruit

 

Sigh of contempt for sexist morons. Time for some music. An instrumental number I wrote called, ‘ART’ Of Breaking Up. I hope you enjoy.

Next, Alice Phoebe Lou and her song ‘Fiery Heart, Fiery Mind’. She’s a South African living in Germany. She’s also very good.

Apart from Alice Phoebe Lou – Copyright © 2018 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorized copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.