george27 (2)(Me at home with the Lilliputians)

This is true. Not so long ago after uni I worked for a while in a café. I’m not made for the catering trade. I glaze over too easily. One morning the owner asked me to go into town and buy an iceberg. At the time I remember thinking she had set me a task like no task ever asked of a human being before. ‘Buy an iceberg’ – that is a big, big request of someone living in South East England, an area not universally known for its icebergs, plus if I did get hold of an iceberg how – what with me not having superhuman powers – would I transport it. Icebergs weigh a ton.  Also, where do you go to buy an iceberg? It’s at times like this that the words of those motivational guru type smiley people who say, ‘There’s no such thing as a problem in life, there are only challenges’ mean nothing. I didn’t want to ask the café owner what shop I should go to in case she thought I was thicker than she already thought I was, so off I went. A few hundred meters away I remembered that there’s a store that sells frozen food. It’s called ‘Iceland’. That had to be the first place to ask. Its name sounded hopeful.

Iceland is a really big store and I didn’t spot anything remotely like an iceberg, so I asked a girl who worked there – hoping against hope she didn’t think me someone who’d been let out for the day – if they sold icebergs. When she stopped laughing – her head off – she handed me a lettuce. That was the day I learnt something new.


Let me sing you the song of inequality

Let me turn back the clock to the start

Let my song be about a denial of rights

Get my drift? It may just break a heart


I’ve got the answer

Do you know the question?

Thought not

That’s why you don’t ask


You’ve lifted the apple

You’re still holding the serpent

You’re on camera; they’ll take you to task


In the garden you feed in

They called you the heathen

They tricked you in every which way

When you made up your mind

To move out of the city

Long-beard said, ‘do that and I’ll hunt you like prey’


So, you took the blame

And the witches are burning

You’re the earth-mother who they’ll never set free

So, you took the blame

For the tempting a weak man

It’s all your own fault, you must see?


They say you’re the temptress

That makes you a demon

To the men who are wise to your guilt

You got the wrong vibe

And the Court finds against you

Just for offering him the one piece of fruit


Sigh of contempt for sexist morons. Time for some music. An instrumental number I wrote called, ‘ART’ Of Breaking Up. I hope you enjoy.

Next, Alice Phoebe Lou and her song ‘Fiery Heart, Fiery Mind’. She’s a South African living in Germany. She’s also very good.

Apart from Alice Phoebe Lou – Copyright © 2018 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorized copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.


  1. I’m still seeking the mythical
    left handed screwdriver, along with
    a dozen sky hooks, my first boss
    sent me out to purchase.
    Good to wind back the clock.
    To smash it apart even, to find out
    how the clockwork works.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. What you wrote here could be a metaphor from the lines of a song, ‘Let Me Paint You a Picture’ – the bit of the lyric that hit me was, ‘It’s bad timing and me
      We find a lot of things out this way
      And there’s you
      A little black cloud in a dress
      The temptation
      To take the precious things we have apart
      To see how they work
      Must be resisted for they never fit together again’. They did try to send me out for some falopian tubes but I got that one – just!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. JGC, the first thought that comes to mind when I read, “Iceland” is a Stephen King attraction at the carnival located next to the fun house. Luckily, “she” pointed you in the right direction and you were able to scratch that impossible task off your list. “ONE PIECE OF FRUIT”, is a terrific lyric, image getting a bad rap sheet for that. The ‘ART’ of Breaking Up is lovely, as is Alice Phoebe Lou’s voice. Wishing you a wonderful day. ~ PM

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks PM. I have a new cause to fight for along with the environment, animals and stupid leaders. I rate Alice a lot, but can’t help thinking she’d be better still with better material. I like the idea of a carnival next to a fun house. It made me think of my Granddad who spent the whole of WW2 in a polar opposite place. I pleased it made me think that way. Thanks, truly. Sometimes dark thoughts need thinking. JGC

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, JGC. Thank you for a wonderful reply, I’m pleased to read you had the opportunity to think about your Granddad. As for Alice, who knows maybe she’ll stumble across some better material. ~ PM

        Liked by 1 person

  3. HA! Oh I’ve been in such a situation. A recipe called for scallions, and I went to three different grocery stores–with kids, mind–to find them. No scallions. Finally, all disheveled and pissed, ask a person where the scallions are. She hands me green onions. THEN CALL THEM GREEN ONIONS, YOU DAMN COOK BOOK!

    So yeah, learned something new that day, too.

    I need to remember to scour your instrumentals again…you’ve got seeds of story inspiration tucked away in there…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word ‘scallions’ before. Having said that – and accepting I’m colour blind – ‘green’ onions? If I’d been sent out to buy some of those I would’t have a hope of coming back with the right onions.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Me, too, until necessity demanded it! Green onions look more like an herb–really long green leaves attached to teeny little white bulbs. They’re handy for chili and other soup–they add a little bite/heat to the mix. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Maggie L. I just woke up in a fog, looking out the window at a fog and you’ve just brightened up my day. This calls for Vegemite on toast. Seriously, I really appreciate that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Born in Kent (south of the Medway and that makes me ‘A Man of Kent’ instead of a ‘Kentish Man’ – boring but true) and brought up in Dartmouth, Devon, now living in Dover, Kent – because it’s close to France. No France; no creativity. A mushroom omelette on top of Vegemite on toast works for me. I still haven’t blinked by the way.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m guessing that if perfected, the flip top head would be a major plus for brain transplants – or, more worrying, brain thefts. I need to think this through.

        Liked by 1 person

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