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(above, a happier me just 48 hours before the ‘the itch’)

What’s the worst thing that you can do to your mum on her birthday? Maybe, forgetting to buy her a present? Possibly, sitting her next to Trump in the restaurant on her special birthday outing? Even, thoughtlessly hiring a hitman to ‘take her out’ so that you can get your hands on an inheritance? That last one was more of a random thought than anything else.

It was the day before her birthday. Both my dad and I hadn’t got her any presents yet. She likes surprises. So, off he and I go to town. I cracked it early. In The Body Shop I spot a box of stuff called ‘A Touch of Youth’. The old man says that I can’t buy her that as the products name sounds like I’m taking the mickey, what with her no longer being in her first flush of ‘youth’. The shop girl comes over and bigs the product up while I’m glazing over. She sells it me; even gift wraps it for me, adding loads of ribbons. Neat. That’s me done.

Then, it’s me bored out of my brains while the old boy is buying this and that for her – I remind him he’s going to have a hell of job wrapping all the presents up. Right at the end of the shopping trip, when I’m thinking of opening a vein I’m so bored, he spots two Art Deco vases – she loves Art Deco – made of frosted white glass. They cost a good few quid, but he buys them. The woman running the place apologizes for the fact that she’s only got plastic bags, so she recommends the bag is held with one hand under its bottom to be on the safe side as the vases are heavy duty glass.

I offer to carry the bag with the vases in because he’s carrying loads of other bags.

We’re walking to the car. I’m walking behind him being ever so careful. Out of the blue I get a random itch behind the ear. It has to be scratched there and then. You know what happens next. I offered to pay for the damage, after he stopped calling me names mainly preceded with a word that began with an ‘f’ and ended with an ‘ing’. Such is life. We dumped the Art Deco remains at the council rubbish tip on the way back.

Time for some music. This one is fresh off the press. It’s a bit of fun. It’s called ‘Guitar Jam’. I hope you like it.

By the way, I’m selling packs of 10 Aluminium RFID Blocking Contactless Debit / Credit Sleeve Wallets on my eBay at £4 for a pack of 10 including UK postage & packing. These wallets are designed to help prevent payment cards being cloned or copied by fraudsters using their smartphones or other readers. Might be worth thinking about?

Click here to open RFID link


Copyright © 2017 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.



26 comments on “ZOOLON’S ‘ITCH’”
  1. Like the look of your new website and the Guitar Jam 🙂

    1. Zoolon says:

      Thank you. I’m hoping it’s all coming together re the website and my music.

      1. It will! You’re heading in the right direction! 🙂

  2. Lucy Brazier says:

    Aw. I hope your mum had a good birthday anyway. If she didn’t know about the vase, she couldn’t have missed it, right? At least the itch wasn’t in an embarrassing place, or it could have been doubly awkward all round. Love Guitar Jam!

    1. Zoolon says:

      She knew. The old boy grassed on me.

      1. Lucy Brazier says:

        The old dog! Trying to keep in the good books, no doubt. Remember this, next time he needs you to cover for him 😉

  3. Baydreamer says:

    What a story, and even though she didn’t get her vases, I couldn’t help laugh, just knowing what was coming. I hope she had a good birthday anyway. Guitar jam was great, too. I’ll spend more time listening to your music, but I read your “about” and was impressed. I wish you all the best in your music endeavors, and I also want to thank you for stopping by my poetry blog. I hope you continue to enjoy.
    p.s. when I was younger, I learned a little of the guitar, and ironically, I’ve been thinking of taking it up again, just for fun (now in my fifties). Are you ever too old? 🙂

    1. Zoolon says:

      It’s never too late to make music. Without Art, whether it’s music, poetry, painting – any genre, we have nothing at all. So thanks for reading and thanks for your poetry. Regards, Zoolon aka George

      1. Baydreamer says:

        Thanks, George! I used to sing in my younger days, too, and my daughter has sites on Nashville next year. So, music is in the blood. 🙂 We shall see, but I appreciate your words and also agree. Have a good day! Lauren

  4. ‘Flapping’ was that the word your dear papa used? I’m sure it would be. Sorry this post cracked me up xxxxx

    1. Zoolon says:

      It’s true, Shey. He called me a “Flapping idiot” – and worse.

    1. Zoolon says:

      You’ve got it in one, Cathy.

  5. Guitar jam sounds great!

    1. Zoolon says:

      Thank you.

  6. Beautiful website set up…great music…itching not so good. Hope all is soothed over. Happy birthday to your Mom!

    1. Zoolon says:

      Thanks. I shall pass your kind birthday greeting on.

      1. Thank you , I hope it was a great one!

  7. inesephoto says:

    Happy Birthday to your Mom! I just imagine the scene… Two troublemakers…

    1. Zoolon says:

      I’ll pass on your kind message to mum. That you.

      1. inesephoto says:

        Please do.
        Hope you all are all right after the hurricane. Things were flying in the air here.

      2. Zoolon says:

        It makes me feel guilty. It was a bit breezy here – that’s all!

      3. inesephoto says:

        Thanks goodness. You already have enough of bad weather every winter.

  8. Oh no! Well, as a parent, I can say that I wouldn’t trust presents for the spouse in the hands of my kid, but mine are a bit younger….but damn, that girl should have had something better for glass! Ah well. Hope your mum still had a nice birthday nonetheless.

    Oooo, this is a bit heavy! Like the strong start.There’s a conflict planted here. Almost like a western, really, with the Known Man slowly checking his revolver while the bartender sends him a fresh bottle, all the while being eyed by too-old-for-this-shit Lady of the Night and a man with his own itch to satisfy: Becoming Known.

    1. Zoolon says:

      I always have disasters in shops. I don’t know why. I suppose my mind wanders on what I think – although it’s probably not – is a higher plain. The problem with music, is that you’re always thinking melody. Sometimes rubbish; sometimes OK. That’s pretty much how my brain works. As to the music, the jam was the first instant, in just one day composed, produced, mixed and mastered thing I’ve done since I was 16 or less. Then the next day came Hidden Below, the best thing I’ve written for ages – it won’t last, of course. Creativity arrives and leaves when she fancies – annoyingly.

      1. Good God, George, do I know just what you mean. She broke her chains and snuck out my window ages ago.

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