GAME OF BLOSSOMS
‘Episode 5; Series 3 – ‘Sunflowers Who Forgot to Follow the Sun’
Warning, this episode contains some scenes of cross-pollination’
It was Sunday afternoon, about 3pm. Just an hour before the shops shut. I’d been working all weekend and was starving hungry. I needed fresh pasta badly. The best fresh pasta comes from the cheapest supermarket I reckon – I have researched this. I shan’t name the shop for fear of reprisals from the competition.
So, I’m in the cheapest supermarket. Its narrow aisles were jammed packed solid with mums and kids. The only thing I wanted was the pasta, nothing else. Right in front of me in the aisle was a big girl, about my age. Sat in the shopping trolley her little boy called Ronnie. I tried to get past her as she was ambling through the fruit and veg section. Her outsize bum blocked my (and everyone behind me for that matter) path.
Following on behind at a snail’s pace, I watched as Ronnie grabbed a bag of apples from his mum’s trolley and chucked it to the floor. Seeing she was having difficulties bending over to pick up the bag I picked it up for her for the price of a mumbled, ‘thanks’. The disappointing thing was that she put the dropped bag of apples (probably some were now bruised) back on the shelf and got herself another bag. I should have said something but didn’t need the hassle.
A little further on, Ronnie had a go at tomato lobbing. He was quite accomplished. Mum was having trouble picking up the tomatoes so I stepped in again. She put the now split tomatoes back on the shelf for someone else to accidentally pick up and got some more fresh ones. I just got a guilty smile this time instead of a ‘thanks’. Anyway, the lobbing of fruit, veg, cornflakes and chocolate digestives continued. I carried on picking things up for her, until mum and Ronnie got to the egg shelf (not free range I noted). It was clear Ronnie likes dropping cartons full of eggs more than anything else. I didn’t fancy getting my hands all sticky from the broken eggs slime on the floor and luckily was able to overtake at this point – like a Lewis Hamilton on foot.
The fresh pasta is placed next to the pizzas. A whole mass of people were stationary trying to see who could fit the most pizzas in a trolley. All I wanted was fresh pasta. As I waited I was wondering if Ronnie had a twin brother at home called Reggie. Was the family surname Kray? Had I been witnessing the reincarnation of a mob who were once East London gangsters in a previous life?
Finally, at the checkout right ahead of me a massive older lady with amazing painted nails – fingers and toes – who was dressed in what looked like a jet-black hessian sack. Her husband wasn’t that large but he only had a few white hairs left on his head that he’d spiked up with gel. After they had paid, she was going to carry the shopping bags herself, but he insisted he would do it despite her worrying about his heart condition. He gave her a huge kiss and said, “Don’t worry, Twiggy I’ll manage.” Nice moment, ‘Twiggy’. Great name for a great lady.
Time for a bit a random video. Me, some drum sticks mucking about.
By the way, here’s link to my album, ‘DREAM RESCUER’. It costs not much, and is available worldwide. If you fancy buying it and feel able to post a review on Bandcamp, I’d appreciate it.
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