ZOOLON & THE SPIDERS

provins1 (2)(Entrance to The Church of St Guillotine, Patron Saint of The Headless, Provins, France)

It’s been humid and very hot in these parts this week. In my studio, I’ve been boiling alive. Even so, I’ve not been out much. Just working.

Whatever, yesterday my dear mother calls out saying she needs to borrow my car so she can take some garden waste down to the local dump. I give her the keys. Not a problem.

Today, I need to buy some stuff in town. I get to my parking space and notice, as per usual this time of year, around the wing-mirrors of my car there are spiders webs. That’s a bit of a nuisance, because while I generally prefer things from the animal kingdom over humans, I’m not good with spiders. I wouldn’t harm them, but they do freak me out. I always ignore the wing-mirror spiders the best I can.

I open the driver’s door and settle in. What I had overlooked – not even thought about if the truth be told – was that the bags of mum’s garden waste contained an insect type accidental ethnic cleansing. Inside my car, on both the front and back seats, roof, the dashboard, everywhere and – an important bit, this is – also on me, at least 40, maybe 50 spiders of all shapes and sizes. I screamed like a girl, of course. Logically, I should have had my GoPro fixed to my forehead and videoed the whole thing; put it up on my YouTube channel and watch it go viral. But I didn’t do that.

It’s at times like these a handy barge pole would be useful. All I could find was an old dry mop. I used it to chase the spiders away best I could. Still in a state of worry, on the edge of panic I drive off.

Because it’s as hot as the Amazonian Rain Forest inside the car, I’ve got the windows down. The traffic lights turn red. I stop. It is then I notice one of the wing-mirror spiders (an orange one, I was later to name Adolf) is trying to make a break for it into the relative safety of my car. I purse my lips and blow as hard as I can in the hope the spider will get the message and turnabout face. With my lips all pursed up like that, a girl crossing the road thinks I’m blowing her a kiss. She frowns and looks offended. My immediate thought that my day is going horribly wrong. The lights change and I’m off without being able to plead my innocence. I make a note to myself to thank mother dear later – not.

 

It’s happened again. The North Korea missile thing. Madness. Every time that madness begins again I think of my song Erasing the 38th written a while back when I first became fully aware the world could end in a flash simply because some lunatic hasn’t thought things through. I’ve posted this song before, yet it’s time for a reprise.

By the way, here’s link to my new album, ‘DREAM RESCUER’. It costs not much, and is available worldwide.  If you fancy buying it and feel able to post a review on Bandcamp, I’d appreciate it.

Copyright © 2017 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

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50 thoughts on “ZOOLON & THE SPIDERS

  1. Epic pictures. Oh! I hate spiders too but not so scared of them as I am of lizards. Well, were they black widow spiders, they are poisonous I believe. You need to spring clean your car, see what else is hiding. You have to be safe on the roads, Jurg.

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  2. I too find spiders have spun webs about my car overnight and lie in wait for me mornings. It’s harrowing . Once I grabbed a spray can of Pam im my frenzy . I don’t need to tell you the slippery outcome. It was rude of the passerby to rebuff your pursed lips. I am on my way to Dream Rescuer now hoping to distract myself from spiders and N Korea. 🙂

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  3. Thanks for the smile, the bit about blowing the spider away mistaken for blowing a kiss, humorous. Do your best to stay spider free. “Erasing The 38th” is perfect. ~ Mia, Rexie & Erniefunkle, The Spider Clean Up Crew

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    • The annoying thing was that she only saw the initial pursing of the lips. If the lights hadn’t gone green she would have seen it was me blowing the spider away rather than throwing a kiss her way. Given the lights were only just up from the house I now worry that she may be a local who has me marked down as a public menace. Hope it’s not too uncomfortably hot, Mia & Her Team.

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      • Here’s to hoping she’s not a local, that could be an awkward future moment, moment, moment. Thank you, it has been horribly uncomfortably hot, horribly. The heat has got to break any day now, I’ll take any day. Have a terrific Monday, George. ~ Mia, TR & EF

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  4. I have a lovely image of you in my head, screaming like a girl. Perhaps now is the time to launch my Spider Rescue Initiative – all those poor creatures turfed out of their homes and adrift on the rear view mirror of life. Poor little Adolf. Loving your music as ever but I’ve come to the conclusion it’s best to just avoid the news these days if you wish to retain a modicum of sanity. Also, I think there are worse neighbourhood menaces than chaps blowing kisses out of passing cars but it might be worth looking out for ‘Wanted’ posters on trees in your locale. If this happens you may need to wear a disguise on venturing out – perhaps some sort of hat?

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    • Thanks for the wise words. Following news bulletins is an annoying pastime, I admit. The dog is that without it I’d not get some of the lyrics together – as in life, you can’t win. In terms of the pursed lips accidental thrown kiss, it’s just an example of things that seem to happen to me, almost daily. If you ever want a situation in life made accidentally worse, then that gig is definitely for me. I attract mini disasters like a moth to a flame. By the way, the last hat I had flew off in a slight breeze and was last seen floating about in The English Channel! It was a great pity, it was my Arsenal hat.

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  5. Song is beautiful bt images r horrible.why is dt church of guillotine-dt is symbol of anarchism in france after 1779 A.D. revolution.why are Saints’s heads cut down ?plz reply of dis historical fact.

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    • There’s loads of damaged churches in Northern France especially. I understand that after D-Day when The Allies were removing the Germans many fights took place in many towns and villages. You see bullet marks and damage in just about every church from those times. Sad perhaps, yet in some ways a good thing because it reminds people of a history that mustn’t repeat itself.

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  6. I would have screamed too with all those spiders running over me! And you can insert the Erasing the 38th track any time you please. Totally get you about not leaving home when in creation mode. In a way it’s a relief to shed the outside world for a while too.

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    • Creation mode is good, I admit – just hope it hangs around for a while. It’s probably best I stay indoors as I don’t want to run into the girl who thought I was blowing kisses at her. I was imagining myself explaining what actually happened was me trying to blow a spider away. I don’t think she’d believe such an unlikely story!

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      • Haha well it could make for a good way to meet someone 😉 I think it’s adorable! Not so adorable is having 40 small spiders all over you (doesn’t matter that they’re small, by the way, it’s just the idea of it)

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      • I think a few spiders remained in the car. I was horrified today when being told that they have the habit of eating each other until only one spider is left. To me, that means in my car, right now is a fully fed whopping great spider somewhere. I’m thinking here, a trade-in for a new car.

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  7. Loving the music. Purchased. Merci beaucoup.

    I’m ok now with spiders. I used to be terrified. I automatically call them Sidney and attribute them the power of speech.

    So we have a conversation and I can’t be scared of anything I’m having a conversation with.

    Some times they hang about in the bathroom or bedroom for days. I just say hi every time I see them, ask them how they are and if they caught any flies.

    I know I’m a bit bizarre, but it works for me.

    The power of anthropomorphization!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the purchase. I really appreciate that. I like the phrase, ‘…I can’t be scared of anything I’m having a conversation with’. A traffic warden did for me yesterday. I was having a reasonable, humble even chat with her, but she was a formidable woman, linguistically and in body size. Not as bad as unnamed spiders I admit, but there was an element of fear on my part, plus I got a fine. Thanks again, George

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  8. Oh HEAVENS, George, you are having the misadventures! We’ve had spider invasions, too, but on our deck. The morning dew illuminates the webs, showing at one point the deck was 80% coated. Bo, like his grandmother, takes the water hose on an attack against nature…but yeah, I had to agree. Those spiders were HUGE and you’ve read about my sons. I don’t need yet another run to the doctor for an infected spider bite.

    That said, I like the slow rhythm here. I good…rolling, rather like the slow wandering one does to think deeply. The guitar’s got a touch of sadness to it, too, which fits the loneliness, or solitude, if you will, of the wandering.

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