All I wanted was a seriously dark chocolate Easter Egg. Not only did I not get a seriously dark chocolate Easter Egg, I didn’t get any. You’d have thought at least my own mother would have got her beloved son a seriously dark chocolate Easter Egg. She didn’t.
Given that two years ago I took time out to mow her lawn, and only last week offered to vacuum for her as she had a bad shoulder – a mission I had to abort when I suddenly remembered I have a dust allergy making vacuuming a big no-no – she would have taken time out to go and buy one for me. Plus – a big plus – on Good Friday I pointed out to her that the seagulls had shat all over her car again and if I were her I’d take down to the carwash. Not even the sniff of a seriously dark chocolate Easter Egg. I feel unloved by my own mother, that’s for sure.
When I asked where my seriously dark chocolate Easter Egg was, all she said was that we don’t celebrate Easter. I then reminded her that when I was a kid, celebrate Easter or not, I used to get hundreds of Easter Eggs, to which she replied, “If we hadn’t given you Easter Eggs as a kid you’d have felt left out as all your mates had them.” That cruel remark caused a random thought, namely that I think I preferred it being a kid.
Also, I pointed out that she gave me a regular Easter Egg last year. She replied saying that she had too many eggs last year and that’s why she gave one of them to me. I then asked if she had any spare this year. All she said was, “Not a chance, I’ve eaten them all.”
I have a brand-new album (more about that another time) for release soon. I’m going to make her pay for her copy. That’ll teach her.
Anyway, time for a bit of music. An experimental number called ‘Decider’. Hope you enjoy;
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