All I wanted was a seriously dark chocolate Easter Egg. Not only did I not get a seriously dark chocolate Easter Egg, I didn’t get any. You’d have thought at least my own mother would have got her beloved son a seriously dark chocolate Easter Egg. She didn’t.

Given that two years ago I took time out to mow her lawn, and only last week offered to vacuum for her as she had a bad shoulder – a mission I had to abort when I suddenly remembered I have a dust allergy making vacuuming a big no-no – she would have taken time out to go and buy one for me. Plus – a big plus – on Good Friday I pointed out to her that the seagulls had shat all over her car again and if I were her I’d take down to the carwash. Not even the sniff of a seriously dark chocolate Easter Egg. I feel unloved by my own mother, that’s for sure.

When I asked where my seriously dark chocolate Easter Egg was, all she said was that we don’t celebrate Easter. I then reminded her that when I was a kid, celebrate Easter or not, I used to get hundreds of Easter Eggs, to which she replied, “If we hadn’t given you Easter Eggs as a kid you’d have felt left out as all your mates had them.” That cruel remark caused a random thought, namely that I think I preferred it being a kid.

Also, I pointed out that she gave me a regular Easter Egg last year. She replied saying that she had too many eggs last year and that’s why she gave one of them to me. I then asked if she had any spare this year. All she said was, “Not a chance, I’ve eaten them all.”

I have a brand-new album (more about that another time) for release soon. I’m going to make her pay for her copy. That’ll teach her.

Anyway, time for a bit of music. An experimental number called ‘Decider’. Hope you enjoy;


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  1. It’s an all out egg war between you and your mama. Don’t be mean Jurg, she must have a reason for not letting you have your egg , you can’t take money from her fur your album. How wicked is that lol?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am seriously vexed for you for the absence of a seriously dark chocolate Easter egg. All the more so, since I am the Easter Bunny (as well as Santa) hereabouts and I neglected to provide Easter eggs (as well as selection boxes, last year) for my three grown-not-at-home children and now feel seriously guilty. If it’s any consolation, no bugger bought me one. Except for me. Which was delicious , btw. Albeit, cream eggs ain’t what they used to be in size or thickness of chocolate so it’s just as well it came with a bigger hollow one. Not seriously dark though so you probably wouldn’t have liked it. I did. Mug of tea last night and all gone before you could say, ‘Hey, mum, where’s my egg/the seagulls have paid a visit again/achoo!’
    I did, however, provide eggs for the resident weans and spouse so I feel you may have a good case against mum and/or dad. To the ECHR, pronto, before such an option disappears like chocolate dipped in tea.
    Seriously good piece of music, btw. And apt. Who decides when to put an end to chocolate? Not I, for it is written, somewhere, that while mum has chocolate, all must have chocolate. Unless they don’t find your stash and you’re really sneaky about it.
    Happy Easter! Or not. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m hoping they’re half price in Lidl’s. It’s my only hope now. The worst of it is that she apparently scoffed all hers. I can’t even blame it on the Tories – although, thinking about it I might just do that small thing.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. She hasn’t got me on the insurance for her car, but she did take mine to the car-wash the other week – I’d rather she washed it by hand though. They never get all the dirt off the alloys in a car-wash.


    1. If I had had the gift of a seriously dark chocolate egg I wouldn’t have eaten it all. I could have melted some it down into a slipper and send it you – then again, it might have melted by the time it arrived.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I was so grieved I commented before I listened. Just wait till you sell a mill of this Lord Zoolon and you keep all your eggs. They will be the sorry ones. I love the peaks and crests of this. Brilliant. Espesh the peaks

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Your sad tale is definitely inspirational. I imagine you are are putting it all down in a song now. Makes me want to write a poem about dark chocolate and how heartbreaking it can be. .28 fabulous!

    Liked by 1 person

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